This just in.
This just in.
Starbucks was going to release a new flavor of coffee called "Nativity" this season, so they invited a bunch of leaders from the various factions of Christianity to give input on which graphic should be printed on the matching holiday cups.
The Presbyterian suggested, "Peace among men on whom His favor rests," but the Arminian took issue with that and said it should read "Peace, good will toward all men."
A Wesleyan offered the text, "I feel strangely warmed," but the Presbyterian (still a little miffed) said it was irresponsible to evaluate the success of coffee without practical evidence that the coffee was producing change in the life of the one who had partaken of it.
A Dispensationalist wanted the cup to say, "Joy to the earth, the Savior reigns!" At this the Anglican threw all his papers in the floor and stormed out of the room in a huff, saying nobody who believes in the Rapture has the intellectual capacity to understand what that hymn really means.
A Pentecostal got mad because the cardboard cup sleeves were too immodest. The Catholic spent the whole meeting telling people they couldn't understand his ideas because none of them had studied enough, and besides, his idea was a mystery you could only comprehend by faith.
The representative from the Bible church wanted a series of three themed cups, labeled with three-word phrases, all starting with the same letter.
An Episcopalian spent the entire meeting arguing that there should be no distinction between light and dark coffees. "There is one caffeine, and all brews lead to it," she said.
The Emergent church representative said everybody who paid $5 for a coffee while kids were starving in the world would be going to hell anyway, if there were a hell, which there wasn't. Then he put his bare feet up on the conference table and started reading Rumi.
The Baptist didn't care what design they used, as long as nobody put wine in the cups.
The Lutheran slept through most of the meeting, and when he was elbowed in the ribs, woke with a start and asked if Starbucks had ever considered putting hot dish on the menu.
The Gothardite proposed that Starbucks start requiring women to ask permission from their husbands before they drank coffee.
In the end, the Starbucks team was so flummoxed that it decided there was only one way to make peace in the group. All the ideas that were offered were tossed, and the company chose instead... a plain red cup